FAG SAYS: Check out this article a friend sent to me (http://jezebel.com/5339864/is-it-time-to-retire-the-term-fag-hag). I mean no disrespect to anyone (and I am in no way implying that anyone else adopt this moniker based upon my rationale for use), but I don’t understand why there has to be so much analysis over the meaning of the term “fag hag”. It has individual meanings for everyone. For some it means the basic definition of a fag versus, or in conjunction with, that of a hag. In our specific case, we just happen to consider ourselves a fag who loves his hag who loves her fag. Period. We don’t ferret out the definition of each word and assign value/meaning accordingly. We have our own special meaning behind the words together. It was the term of the day, it stuck, and it is still applicable to us. We all have the right to call ourselves whatever we want without scrutiny. I don’t want my relationship analyzed and deemed passé and/or toxic. It is what it is to us. I personally prefer the word “queer” to “gay”. And I don’t particularly like the word “fag” except when it is coupled with the word “hag”. Apart, they may have totally different meanings associated with negative connotations but when used in conjunction with each other they are, for me personally, a representation of a nurturing, protective and loving relationship that has developed over the decades between my bestest friend in the whole wide world and me!
HAG SAYS: After reading this article, "it is time to retire..." I am so over this whole discussion. I have a best friend. We have been friends for decades. He is gay. We are committed to our friendship for life. We know what it means to us. I don't need anyone who is not involved in our relationship to tell me about it, nor what the words we use within that friendship mean. He is not my fashion accessory, my pet, nor someone I need to make me look good. I find this whole reference to be insulting to us both. He is a human being with whom I have shared all that I am able to share with anyone, not because he is GAY but because of the man he is.
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I passed the above mentioned article to you because I found it interesting. I also think that people within a generation have their own thoughts of terminology they find offensive, for different reasons. Right now Prop 8 and Gay rights are on people's mind. I relate it to the Civil Rights movement, when black people were facing some of the same human rights issues as Gays are now (although, some blacks would say the issues are totally different, I say the basics are the same: human rights issues). "Nigger" was basically a derogatory term used by white people (and times other minorities, which has always baffled me) to describe a black person. However, when the word is uttered between black people or any two people who mean it as a loving term, it is ok. The way I see it this is what the gay community is going through with the term "fag" and “fag hag” or anything combined with the word “fag”.
ReplyDeleteFrom my experience the connotation of “fag hag” in the 80’s it meant a big fat woman who couldn't get a man, therefore hung out with gay men and maybe even had sex with them. I think it’s the negative connotation of the word “fag” that gay people and their supporters would like to get rid of.
I personally prefer to be a Personal Diva to my gay best friend because I have earned those stripes! Another blog for another time, perhaps!
I don't like the term “nigger” or the term “fag” and choose not to use those them.
I feel like whatever endearing terms two people call one another is between them. And if it is about luv and not about hate; it is not any of my business.
xoxo
Carmen